CREEPYPASTA REVIEWS

Last updated on 07 December 2021

_{Background image and animated Moons taken from old Geocities sites. Animated jack o'lantern divider bar taken from Bonnibel's graphics collection here on Neocities. Thank you! All other graphics by yours truly.}

Welcome to the Haunted House! This is where I post reviews of various creepypastas that I have read. If you don't already know, creepypastas are horror stories that are posted on the Internet, often on websites such as 4chan. They are a sort of modern equivalent to scary campfire stories, and have been around in some form or another since at least the 90s.

5/5 Stars - Eldritch Abomination Tier
4/5 Stars - Master Vampire Tier
3/5 Stars - Werewolf Tier
2/5 Stars - Zombie Tier
1/5 Stars - Crappypasta Tier
<3/5 Stars - Feelspasta Tier (category not based on quality)

5/5 Stars - Eldritch Abomination Tier

These are so good that reading them needs to be on your bucket list. Just make sure you don't do so before bed if you scare easily.

No One Escapes the Mathman - A sublime creepypasta series written by HoleinMyHeart here on Neocities. The story starts off with a hilarious yet believable exchange between a UFOlogist and former President Lyndon Johnson, and then turns towards a tale of cryptid horror that a friend of Johnson personally experienced in the 1940s. A tale that is a gripping rollercoaster ride involving oil conspiracies, eldritch geometries, a touching reunion between two formerly close childhood friends, and a very unusual yet surprisingly frightening entity.
Without spoiling anything, I will only say that this is one of the creepypastas that you will either want to read twice, and/or read very carefully, as there are some very tantalising Chekhov's guns lurking throughout the story. Even if you're not a fan of long creepypastas, you will want to check this one out as the writing is truly excellent, and the genuinely harrowing conclusion would be worth the journey even if it wasn't.
Infected Town (AKA The Mold Series) - An incredible creepypasta series about a town that is steadily being taken over by an eldritch mold infestation. The few first chapters are rather slow but the story gets steadily more and more horrifying and enthralling as it goes on. The story is very immersive, with the author including photographs that she took in the infected town and telling the story from the perspectives of multiple characters writing from multiple reddit accounts.
Infected Town is one of the longest creepypastas around but as you'll see, this is a good thing. The fascinating lore and the vivid descriptions of the warped town and its nightmarish denizens are enough to carry you through the story, and the utterly thrilling climax is one that you won't soon forget.
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game? - This one and Infected Town are tied for being my favourite creepypastas ever. A journalist meets an eccentric old man who has become obsessed with a ritual game that he found online. A game which involves driving around in a car and taking the first possible left turn one runs into, then the first possible right turn, and so on, until the player winds up "somewhere... new."
If I had to sum this story up in one word, that word would undoubtedly be "atmospheric." If I had more words, I would also add "scary" and "melancholic." The writer does an incredible job at truly selling the idea of the cast having entered some unknowable realm outside of reality, and it's always entertaining to see the various ways that the cast members react to the increasingly dire and unexplainable situations they find themselves in. The basic premise is a tad silly, but give it a chance by reading the first chapter or two, and I guarantee you'll be hooked.
The Patient That Nearly Drove Me out of Medicine - A series detailing a rookie psychiatrist's attempts to reach a troubled, inscrutable patient who has been locked away in a mental hospital for the majority of his life. The story takes many horrifying twists and turns and the horror never lets up for a moment. The characterisation and the descriptions in this story are an absolute treat to read and truly make you feel like you're right there with the overwhelmed psychiatrist protagonist.
This story has become impossible to find online after the author took it down, so I have linked to a backup I put together of it in text file form to keep it alive.
Psychosis - The first creepypasta on this list that isn't a series, Psychosis is a first-person narrative tale of an isolated young man having an increasingly intense psychotic breakdown spawned by his isolation and a series of increasingly odd coincidences. I won't spoil anything but the tension and horror only grows as the story goes on, and it has one of the most memorable endings of any creepypasta ever.
Penpal - A classic nightmarish tale of woe about someone reminiscing about strange events that happened to them when they were a kid, and realising that their idyllic childhood was haunted by something very dark that their young mind could not comprehend at the time. A truly horrific tale, made moreso by the fact that everything in the story could have conceivably happened in the real world.
Something Happened 63 Years Ago That's Haunted Me My Entire Life - An old man tells the tale of a traumatic paranormal experience he had as a child. Although I am hesitant to give anything that isn't a series a 5 star rating, I am willing to make an exception for this one and Psychosis. The writing is excellent and the story is a genuinely spine-chilling journey that will stay with you long after you've finished reading it.
Seventeen - A dark and masterfully written tale of a adulterous executive's life crashing down after his iniquity catches up to him. This tale is already macabre before anything unexplainable occurs, but it's the nightmarish supernatural portions that truly propel it into the prestigious Eldritch Abomination tier.
The Game of Seven Doors - A group of middle school girls discover a ritual that allows them to astral project into an whimsical realm containing seven doors that all lead to yet other worlds. Their excitement is soon soured when a malevolent entity appears inside of the realm and begins preying on the group both in the astral and physical realms. I'm always very hesitant to rank any story at 5 stars, but all of the fascinating lore in this story ultimately won me over.
I Found a Dead Girl's Diary - A high school girl discovers the diary of an abused classmate who had gone missing, before being unwittingly roped by her spirit into investigating her tragic past and disappearance. The story is frightening and melancholic in a truly beautiful way, and the exquisite descriptions of the story's world and characters make it feel almost like a movie.

4/5 Stars - Master Vampire Tier

These are masterful works of horror fiction.

An Old Friend's Been E-Mailing Me About a Strange, Secret Website - A relatively long series about a man investigating a mysterious, haunted Web 1.0 website that he and his online friends once visited decades in the past. If the horror isn't enough to keep you reading, the Web 1.0 nostalgia that pervades the story will. This creepypasta does an excellent job of channeling the feeling of the Web being an arcane, magical place, and using it to create something truly haunting.
I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service - A classic series about a forest Search and Rescue officer recounting their many strange and paranormal experiences deep inside American national parks. The author does an excellent job with balancing the paranormal bits (mysterious, magical staircases deep in the woods) with completely believable events to make the story seem completely plausible. One might say that she did it a little too well, considering parts of the story wound up becoming popular outside of the creepypasta community after some people thought that they really happened.
Doors - Another classic pasta, and one that truly deserves that title in every way. It's short, sweet, and exquisitely macabre.
Third Parent - A nightmarish, NSFL tale of a malevolent entity that invades people's families and spends half a decade tormenting them in various ways under the guise of helping them become better people. The author wrote several additional stories in the series, as well as a book that provides both an origin to the third parent and a permanent, well-deserved end to it. If you're squeamish, be warned that this probably the most gruesome creepypasta out there, tackling the all too real idea of an abusive family member who cannot be gotten rid of.
The Story of Her Holding an Orange - I adore this story and I really want to give this 5 stars but... I just can't. The premise of the story is excellent and it's one of the scariest creepypastas out there overall, but the writing quality is far too poor in some parts. This seems to be at least somewhat intentional because the protagonist is meant to be a non-native English speaker and an angry young male, but even that doesn't excuse the comical overuse of foul language (notably the c-word) that pervades the entire story. The ending is also extremely abrupt and lazy.
This story was later released as a book, which massively improved on the story, fixed the writing problems, and included a fleshed out ending that actually brought proper closure to the story. The book is an absolute 5/5 but unfortunately, this is a list of creepypastas and not books, so I am grading this entirely based on the original story.
Fuck Oranges - Another horror story about oranges, this time from the creepypasta legend M59Gar (of Psychosis fame.) While this story could honestly be better classified as comedy rather than horror (or horror-comedy perhaps,) it's quite entertaining and easy to read, so I'm putting it here.
The Devil Game - One of the exceedingly few genuinely excellent ritual pastas out there. This one details a ritual that supposedly allows one to speak with the Devil himself, as well as the many macabre potential pitfalls that doing so can lead to.
The Girl the Universe Forgot - An equally melancholic and existentially terrifying tale exploring just what the "Mandela Effect" might lead to, if it does indeed exist.
I Met Someone Who Claimed to Be the Devil - A very well-written account of one man's encounter with the Devil at a bar. Between the terrifying existential dread, interesting religious lore, and surprisingly likeable Light-Bringer, this story is a true gem.
Wendigo - A man recounts his deceased uncle's tale of his encounter with the legendary Wendigo monster of Native American lore. The rural 1940s Canada setting is very convincingly portrayed, and the writing is so good that you'll almost start to believe the events in the story may have actually occurred.
Candle Cove - A pretty short, classic creepypasta written in the form of an online forum discussion about an odd show that aired on a local TV station decades ago. Surprisingly scary despite the brevity and the subject matter.
Mr. Smiley - Don't be fooled by the silly name and how generic the premise may seem at first, this is a very well-written horror story with one of the most shocking plot twists that I have encountered in a creepypasta.
Just Bought My Childhood House, Am About to Find Out What the Tunnel in the Attic Leads To - Another classic from the writer of the Search and Rescue Officer series. An investigation into a strange tunnel in a person's childhood house leads them to an impossible world hidden beneath their home and, eventually, a dark family secret.
Dad's Tapes - An excellent series centered around transcriptions of taped interviews left behind by a deceased Los Angeles police officer. This is a series you will want to read at least twice, as the true nature of the story does not become evident until about halfway through, and there are references that you will most likely not notice on the first read as a result.
In the Assassin's Orphanage - A group of children whose parents were murdered by an assassin grow up raised by their parent's murderer and his sinister mother. A fun little series with a number of twists and a surprisingly heartwarming conclusion.

3/5 Stars - Werewolf Tier

These are more or less average. They might creep you out, but they won't stay with you for long.

Tales From an Ex-Convict - This one is actually an incredible read, although it loses major points for being unfinished and abruptly ending at a fairly dramatic cliffhanger. A man writes about his ex-convict father's experiences in a prison that was haunted by the presence and increasingly horrific acts of a convict who is possessed by a powerful demon. The father-son duo then wind up teaming up to try to stop said demon after learning that it has escaped and gone body-surfing. I really hope the author finishes this one day.
Meek - A morbid and all too realistic tale of the horrors of addiction and neglect, centered around a broken man's daily life in his morbidly filthy apartment.
A Cold Love Story - A schoolboy is stalked by a psychotic, and possibly demonic, girl from his school. Although a well written story overall, some of the dialogue is rather odd, namely the stalker speaking like a clingy anime girl. This does often serve to make the story even creepier somehow so it all works out.
NoEnd House - Another creepypasta classic, and one of the better ones. A man attempts to traverse a haunted house that promises a hefty cash reward for anyone who succeeds in doing so, only to find himself in an increasingly surreal nightmare world.
Necrosleep - A misanthropic recluse discovers a mysterious website peddling pills that claim to remove a person's need for sleep, with some very dark side effects. Although the story seems quite generic and lacking at first (there is an evil doctor whose name is Dr. Hail A. Stan), it does pick up as it goes on, and goes out with a bang.
The Fairies - A woman and her cryptozoologist boyfriend investigate legends of malevolent fairies living in the forests around her deceased grandmother's house. If fairies seem an odd choice for a horror story to you, this tale will most likely change your mind.
1999 - A classic pasta about a local children's TV channel operated by a mysterious kidnapper and murderer known only as "Mr. Bear."
My Grandfather's Final Invention - An eccentric old man who enjoys doting on his grandchildren by inventing odd gadgets for their amusement accidentally goes too far with his final attempt. The twist at the end is wonderful.
The Rodderson Experiments - A wonderfully bizarre story of a small town plagued by what appear to be abductions by some very inscrutable aliens. While the story is relatively creepy, the behaviours of the aliens tends to become so outlandish in parts that the story just becomes unintentionally comical.
The Lord of the Scarecrows - While I'm not usually a fan of ritualpastas, this one is truly one of the rare gems of the sub-genre. This macabre guide on channeling ancient forces for revenge does an excellent job at weaving supernatural lore with a sense of believability.
Ted the Caver - A veritable ancient classic of the creepypasta genre, living on a genuine Web 1.0 Angelfire website created back in 2001. A caver details his attempts to explore a mysterious cave where he is confronted with increasingly unexplainable phenomenon. Although the initial parts of the story are rather tedious to read, it makes up for this by includes a number of photographs from inside the cave to add to the believability of the story. Unfortunately, I can't rank it any higher than 3 stars due to the extremely abrupt ending and the sheer amount of interesting elements that are briefly introduced and never actually followed up on.
John - A woman living in a cabin in the forest is jubilated after her husband finally makes his delayed return from a winter hunt, only to become increasingly disturbed and suspicious due to his inexplicably changed appearance and sinister behaviour.

2/5 Stars - Zombie Tier

These are subpar at best, but do have at least some redeeming qualities that keep them from being classified as full-on crappypastas.

The Russian Sleep Experiment - A classic that seems to owe most of its fame to its age, as opposed to its quality. This one tells the story of what happened to a group of Russian prisoners that were drugged and forced to stay awake for 15 days straight. The over the top horror gets dulled a bit by the fact that similiar sleep deprivation lengths have been achieved in the real world without anything paranormal occurring.
Spiderland - I feel like I may be being a tad nice by not putting this under Crappypasta Tier, but it did entertain me despite (or possibly because of) how little sense it made. This is less of a creepypasta and more of a "confusionpasta."
Mr. Widemouth - Another tale of a boy being haunted by a malevolent entity, one that is not nearly threatening or original enough to differentiate itself from the pack. Thankfully, the story is just short enough to not be too dragged down by this.
Lapse - A short and sweet tale about the horrific impacts of drug abuse. I really wanted to rate this higher but, while the premise is excellent, the actual story is written very awkwardly at parts and the twist is too easy to predict as a result.
Dogscape - An equally bizarre and gruesome tale about the Earth being taken over by an eldritch mass consisting entirely of canine body parts. Not recommended for anyone who is at all squeamish.
Charles Bonnet Syndrome - A man who suddenly goes partially blind struggles to cope with his new life when he suddenly becomes plagued by increasingly ominous hallucinations stemming from his eyesight problems. The story gets points for tackling a relatively obscure yet frightening condition but it suffers from the common creepypasta trope of a menace that doesn't seem to be capable of anything more than being spooky. Macula enjoyed it, however.

String of Jack O'Lanterns

1/5 Stars - Crappypasta Tier

Self-explanatory -- don't bother with these unless you enjoy wasting your time on drivel.

Jeff the Killer - I have no idea why this story gets brought up so often in discussions of the best creepypastas. It's a "classic," in the sense that it's one of the early ones, but that's all that it has going for it. The writing is atrocious and the plot is incoherent at best.

<3/5 Stars - Feelspasta Tier

These are creepypastas that are more likely to make you cry than shiver.

_{Note: I am including these stories in their own category not because I think they're bad, but because a lot of people don't like feelspastas. Personally I think the ones on these list are some of the best creepypastas out there, but different strokes for different folks (nmiaow) and all that.}

Safe - A sorrowful tale of just how indomitable the power of a mother's love for her child can be.
Dandelions - A sad (and creepy) love story that is almost guaranteed to make you cry. 'Nuff said because I don't want to spoil anything.
Maria on the Moon - An exquisitely morose tale of love and loss. A man is beseiged by eldritch beings while fighting desperately to keep his dying mother alive just a bit longer.
All Eighteen Lives of Omen the Cat - I put this in the feelspasta category but this could also easily be classified as a regular creepypasta. This is an equal parts heart-warming and creepy tale of a two-headed demon cat and their loving family.
My Student Submitted the Most Disturbing "Living History" Project I've Ever Seen - A history teacher who asks her students to interview their elderly relatives about their lives gets more than she bargained for after one of her students submits an interview with her war veteran great uncle. A very somber tale about the shocking horrors of war.
Notes to the Girl Whose House I Live In - Don't let the creepy title fool you - this is a surprisingly cute and wholesome little tale written from the perspective of a creepy yet amicable entity residing in a woman's attic. This is hardly the first creepypasta to run with the "friendly monster" theme, but it is easily one of the best.
Love - A truly sublime classic of the feelspasta sub-genre. A young woman discovers a letter left on her computer by a ghost who had watched over and cared for her during her childhood and teenhood. The amazingly bittersweet ending never ceases to make me cry, no matter how many times I read it.
A Shattered Life - A supremely touching metaphor for Alzheimer's disease from M59Gar, the creator of Psychosis. A man is attacked by an extradimensional entity that invades his mind and fragments his consciousness, cursing him to experience the rest of his life in increasingly short and disorganised bursts.